Saturday, January 15, 2011

3 Days Later

It's funny how it takes a small tragedy in order to pay attention to all of the miracles in my life. 3 days ago I had a miscarriage and lost a tiny little person who I was so hoping to get to know over the course of the next 60 years (You can see I'm very optimistic about how long I will be around on this planet). In the haze of emotion and the loss of pieces from my body that I didn't even know I had, came the deep realization that my 22 month old boy Ephraim really and truly is a miracle. The fact that any of us survive the turmultuous first trimester without being born with insane defects is truly miraculous really. But as a mother I now see it so clearly. How perfect are Ephraim's little fingers and toes, how gorgeous his smile. He can walk and talk and play and he is so wonderfully happy. So what more should I ask for really? Probably nothing. But in time, we will try again for another baby and I will truly relish in its perfection also.